Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
