just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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