If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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