what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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