Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
