According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
