when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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