I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
