the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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