If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
