billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize