her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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