Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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