Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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