tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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