But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
