yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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