yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
God, I missed his penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
