new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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