id be glad to
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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