It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
