why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
