I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
are you so shy because you have an std?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
