My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
