I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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