no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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