she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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