Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize