I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
