Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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