I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
