Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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