so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
