i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
