gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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