I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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