That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
