He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
