No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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