how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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