? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize