Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
