she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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