i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
