SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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