If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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