Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What a dumb baby whore.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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