She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They took my balls.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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