So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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