playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I AM VODKA MAN
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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