I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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