I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think i have two assholes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
