i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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