It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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