dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
