I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
