We're facebook friends in real life
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
