i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
