we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
