my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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