This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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