why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
