why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
