i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
